Pretend to be Nice

Teacher-Moms, on the edge…

Office Bathrooms: Confessions Of A Modern Day Assaphobe

Lots of people have phobias. I don’t think I have any but my husband begs to differ. I prefer to call them ick issues (feet, saliva, body sounds that my imagination turns into really horrible scenarios…) But Michael Rosenthal from Thought Catalog described his phobia to a tee! Marriott Courtyard – here I come…no, I’m just visiting a friend.

Thought Catalog

ShutterstockShutterstock

My name is Michael, and I am an Assaphobe.

It should be said that “Parcopresis” is the actual term for “a fear of public pooping,” the affliction with which I so greatly suffer. However, I have been referring to my syndrome as “assaphobia” for so long, we are going to stick with the term – after all, it is so important for people like me to be comfortable.

Just to be clear, this is an ass issue. I am not threatened by clean public restrooms (meaning they’ve never been used). Rather, I am terrified by the excrement of others – moreover, the revolting disgust associated therewith. In short, and with very few exceptions (Jessica Alba, 2003) – I hate your assholes and what they do. In fact, I hate mine as well.

Certainly, I am not alone. The thought of squatting in a public facility must be paralyzing to…

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This entry was posted on May 19, 2014 by in OMG, You're Hilarious and tagged , , , , .
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TeacherPop

| A blog for new teachers, hosted by Teach For America.

DFW Writers Workshop

Writers helping writers since 1977

The Social Norma

"I don't cut the ribbon at the opening of markets. I don't stand next to the mayor. Hit your baseball into my yard, and you'll never see it again." - Tom Waits

autismthoughts

My experiences with autism, depression, and life

LisaListed

The best things in life aren't things at all

The Zero-Waste Chef

No packaging. Nothing processed. No waste.

Notes From Dawn

with hope, life is more than just bearable

Properly Ridiculous

Mostly Pleasant [Possibly Offensive] Perceptions

Officially Gluten Free

Have your cake and eat it too, without feeling sick.

Chaos Girl & the Real World

{A Slightly Disjointed Life}

5powerdotorg.wordpress.com/

Chronicles from the Mama Duck - Raising teenagers...family...faith...

anntogether

AM Roselli's art & writing site

User Generated Education

Education as it should be - passion-based.

Sass & Balderdash

Always tongue in cheek, often egg on face.

Live to Write - Write to Live

We live to write and write to live ... professional writers talk about the craft and business of writing

coolcookstyle

Find it, cook it, make it your own.

Bucket List Publications

Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences

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