Pretend to be Nice

Teacher-Moms, on the edge…

Dear K-Evil, We have a Pick Pocket

Dear K-Evil,

Our daughter, the older one, who couldn’t tell a lie, has begun taking money from us without permission. It started with my husband looking for $6 he was sure he had taken out of his pocket and left on the corner of the dining table. Then money missing from my purse. We talked to both children openly about how wrong it is, how they just have to ask. From the guilt on only one of their faces and the furtive glances of the other we figured out who it must be. They both promised not to do it again.
Then not three days later I hear coins clanking in master bath. I call out, go running in, hating myself for the lack of trust (or was it for calling out and not sneaking up). Any way, I found said daughter but no coins. I really felt awful for accusing my angel and sending her off to school with her self esteem tarnished by my suspicion. Then later that very morning I find the coins, in a heap on my bed! I turned to my funky hand-painted piggy bank on the chest of drawers and saw that it was left open and facing the wrong way!

The guilt is gone, I am just pissed! What can I do?

Livid and lighter in the pockets

crying-woman-with-empty-wallet

 

Dear L and L,

Lock her up and only feed her breakfast bars through the gap in the bottom of the closet!

Just kidding – that’s what I would do!  What should you do?  I don’t know, but I’m sure I could come up with something ridiculous…

1)  Give the younger daughter, $6 and ask her where she would like to spend it (no strings attached, you’re going to have to be ok with fingernail polish and chocolate).  Make sure to make a big production about giving it to her and encourage poor choices giving bizarre suggestions for its use.  When the older child inquires about your lack of sanity, and of course says, “where is my $6?” or “how come she gets money?” you reply (with your best Kevil sarcasm),  “well you already got your money…from your father…off the table…

2) If the “Not Me” bandit strikes you can just take $6 out of both children’s piggy banks and notify them that until the money is returned or fessed-up-to that this will be the status quo.

3)  You could go to the library and make them ask for and check out books on lying, cheating, and stealing and then have them write summaries on each book (I totally made Leah do this!  It was greatness!  I killed 3 birds with that stone:  lesson learned, reading, and writing 😉 )

4)  You could drive by their favorite spot (ours is the dollar store), go in, shop, and then look frantically in your wallet for the money (make sure you make verbal references  like, “I knew I had $10 in here”) and come up empty and sadly put everything back on the shelves and pout on the way out.

5) I’m not against baiting…I would love to glue money to the counter (as unreasonable as that is), or set up a hidden camera and jump out in a gorilla suit to scare the crap out of them (not as unreasonable, but it is hard to find a good gorilla get up), or just lecture them about respect until their ears bleed (but I hate sitting in waiting rooms).

Or you could just lock her in the closet and only feed her breakfast bars…

Good luck and good fortune!

K-EVIL

giving children privacy-006

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5 comments on “Dear K-Evil, We have a Pick Pocket

  1. Hugh's Views and News
    May 14, 2014

    OMG, I’m in tears here – tears of laughter. Why has taken me 30 days to find your wonderful funny blog? Great post, just what the doctor ordered when the day is not going to plan. I’m hooked and now a follower 🙂

    • Kevil
      May 15, 2014

      Well, thanks! My friends laugh at me (I pretend it’s with me) when it’s happening but they always come back asking for advice…We all need extra ideas when things aren’t working like we planned 😉 I probably need the most!

  2. Pingback: Dear K-Evil: Do you have Dr. Ruth’s number? | Pretend to be Nice

  3. Pingback: Dear K-Evil, I want to say no… | Pretend to be Nice

  4. Pingback: Dear K-Evil: We have a hoarder. | Pretend to be Nice

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This entry was posted on April 19, 2014 by in OMG, You're Hilarious, You're SUCH a Good Mom and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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TeacherPop

| A blog for new teachers, hosted by Teach For America.

DFW Writers Workshop

Writers helping writers since 1977

The Social Norma

"I don't cut the ribbon at the opening of markets. I don't stand next to the mayor. Hit your baseball into my yard, and you'll never see it again." - Tom Waits

autismthoughts

My experiences with autism, depression, and life

LisaListed

The best things in life aren't things at all

The Zero-Waste Chef

No packaging. Nothing processed. No waste.

Properly Ridiculous

Mostly Pleasant [Possibly Offensive] Perceptions

Officially Gluten Free

Have your cake and eat it too, without feeling sick.

Chaos Girl & the Real World

{A Slightly Disjointed Life}

Tales from the Mama Duck

Family-Life. Faith-Life. Mid-Life. Sharing-Life!

anntogether

AM Roselli's art & writing site

User Generated Education

Education as it should be - passion-based.

Sass & Balderdash

Always tongue in cheek, often egg on face.

Live to Write - Write to Live

We live to write and write to live ... professional writers talk about the craft and business of writing

coolcookstyle

Find it, cook it, make it your own.

Bucket List Publications

Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences

NextDraft

The Day's Most Fascinating News

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