Pretend to be Nice

Teacher-Moms, on the edge…

Phonophobia, pick up already will you?

dali-lobster-telephoneWrite a letter to the personality trait you like least, convincing it to shape up or ship out. Be as threatening, theatrical, or thoroughly charming as is necessary to get the job done.

 

Well finally, I thought you would never pick up! Listen this is getting to be too much. It’s one thing not to like making calls, but you are really going to lose friends if you won’t even answer the phone!

Now, don’t hang up! We need to have a little intervention today. I care about you and love you just the way you are, and I am doing this for your own good.

I know your mother had this problem, too. But she was a foreigner, always a bit of an outsider, always aware of her accent. You understood and you even enabled her while your were a teenager. You had no problem making calls if you could open with, “Hi, I’m calling on behalf of my mother, Irma Zuluaga.” Her name explained it all. You didn’t mind, you did it for your mother. Deep down inside wondering how an adult could be so afraid of a stranger on the other end of the line. You laughed when she said, “Thank God, now they have automated answering at the movie theater!”

But then, what, you go away to college and develop the same hang-up? Ha! Get it, hang up! You put off the calls as long as you can, letting them hang over you like a wet wool blanket, ruining your day. When you finally muster everything you got to dial the number of the finance office to ask about the balance of your student loan you’re sweating, when the answering system asks you to please hold, you are torn between hanging up or having to go through this again! And for what?

Do you think the stranger will laugh at you?

Ask a question you can not answer? Yell at you? Are you thinking you will catch your friend or family at an inopportune time; like driving on the freeway or committing adultery?

It’s driven Andreas crazy for years. He has to call the plumber about the leaky faucet. He has to call about the passport renewals. You say you will. But you don’t! He long ago stopped believing about you having left a message. Now you have kids, they cause a lot of phone calls, don’t they? Should have thought of that before you had them, huh? What about your poor uncle Alvaro, you wanted to call and wish him a Happy Father’s Day. He’s the closest thing you have to a father since yours passed away. Alvaro was there with you and your sister in that scary hospital in Panama, when your Pápi was dying. What day is it today? Oh, yeah, the day after Father’s Day. How’s Alvaro doing? You wouldn’t know, would you?

Like I said, now you avoid answering the phone! I know you are screening your calls, everyone does it sometime. But I think you are not even checking the incoming number! You just don’t want anyone interrupting your quiet time? Pathetic!

teeth-phoneOkay, sorry! I didn’t mean to put you down. I want to offer you a solution. Maybe it’s like public speaking, only don’t imagine the person answering the phone in his or her underwear. Imagine them sitting there, next to the phone, with a grin on their face. They are wishing someone would call. When they hear that it is you, they are ecstatic! It makes their day to give you the info you need or to know that you care. It is actually inconsiderate to not call! Come on, you can do it! You know you want to….

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One comment on “Phonophobia, pick up already will you?

  1. Pingback: I’m home, why aren’t they? | Pretend to be Nice

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This entry was posted on April 11, 2014 by in Blog That, OMG, You're Hilarious, That's SO Creative and tagged , , , , , , , .
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| A blog for new teachers, hosted by Teach For America.

DFW Writers Workshop

Writers helping writers since 1977

The Social Norma

"I don't cut the ribbon at the opening of markets. I don't stand next to the mayor. Hit your baseball into my yard, and you'll never see it again." - Tom Waits

autismthoughts

My experiences with autism, depression, and life

LisaListed

The best things in life aren't things at all

The Zero-Waste Chef

No packaging. Nothing processed. No waste.

Properly Ridiculous

Mostly Pleasant [Possibly Offensive] Perceptions

Officially Gluten Free

Have your cake and eat it too, without feeling sick.

Chaos Girl & the Real World

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Tales from the Mama Duck

Family-Life. Faith-Life. Mid-Life. Sharing-Life!

anntogether

AM Roselli's art & writing site

User Generated Education

Education as it should be - passion-based.

Sass & Balderdash

Always tongue in cheek, often egg on face.

Live to Write - Write to Live

We live to write and write to live ... professional writers talk about the craft and business of writing

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Find it, cook it, make it your own.

Bucket List Publications

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