Pretend to be Nice

Teacher-Moms, on the edge…

No One Died…yet.

ju bball

So I have become the proverbial taxi mom.  My entire evening – every evening- is dictated by a practice or game…picking up,dropping off,  or tutoring.  Last night was an extra basketball practice scrimmage.  There are only so many hours in the day and I pride myself in having honed the skill of multi-tasking.  (And it’s a damn miracle I can keep everyone alive.)

While I drive by and kick one daughter out of the car at a strange new school for a practice with a new team in which I know no parents, the parenting fairy tisks in my ear forcing me to park.  I did in fact stick my head in the gym and confess to a complete stranger (later to find out was the mother of a girl on the opposing team) that I was going to drop off my other daughter, run to the store and be right back.

So many bad parenting moments just happened in that scenario and I’m not even to the point of my story. So I lied about the store, it was the library that my older daughter needed to go to.  Upon arrival, none of the book series she wanted was available and they were already announcing the closing.  It was a mad frenzy of book jackets, flying hair, and lots of eye-rolling to pick a book – any book. When we got to the check out our library  card was expired and of course I had a balance from the summer before.

The head librarian shot me with her eye-daggers and she had some mean looking, sharp, old lady nails that could have done some serious damage, but we managed to survive unscathed.

mean librarian

Shew, done!  Back to basketball, hurry and watch, hurry and go to the car, hurry play frogger…that’s what it feels like trying to get out of an elementary school parking lot – they are the worst, especially at night!

And hurry home for dinner….dinner?!?  Shit, I knew I forgot something – I’m supposed to feed them too?!  Thank goodness for hot tamales.

lady selling tamalesBut not from the store, this is Texas after all, from the nondescript SUV on the corner of the empty strip mall.  Where is my parenting fairy now as the strange woman walked up to my car and asked what kind and how many?

(I have no personal prior knowledge but I have watched more than my fair share of crime dramas to know that this is what a drive-by drug deal must feel like, and my fairy must have been out to lunch.)  I’ll take 2 bags, how much?

Then I hear the fairy, “What the hell are you doing?  You don’t know this woman?  Did she wash her hands?  It’s pork, you’re going to kill your kids!  You’ll never remember her license tag number and what color is her car/SUV/ugh, you should pay more attention at your husband’s car dealership.”

But my overwhelming urge not to cook and mypicking nose hyper-realistic – it can’t be worse than some teenager picking his nose and then serving us fast food fries brain kicked in and we were off to have tamales for dinner!

And no one died!  (and the kids have been begging to go back because they were really yummy!)

 

ugly fairy

Damn fairy, he takes too many smoke breaks.

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3 comments on “No One Died…yet.

  1. aishasoasis
    April 18, 2014

    Lol I love this! ♥♥♥ ;^)

    • Kevil
      April 18, 2014

      😉 When it’s happening I always cringe – for obvious reasons but then an extra shudder to think about what my husband or mother would have to say. So I usually let it sit and marinate then mention it in casual conversation, “man, we had the best tamales the other night!” “really, where?” “oh, you won’t believe it…”

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This entry was posted on March 11, 2014 by in You're SUCH a Good Mom and tagged , , , , , .

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TeacherPop

| A blog for new teachers, hosted by Teach For America.

DFW Writers Workshop

Writers helping writers since 1977

The Social Norma

"I don't cut the ribbon at the opening of markets. I don't stand next to the mayor. Hit your baseball into my yard, and you'll never see it again." - Tom Waits

autismthoughts

My experiences with autism, depression, and life

LisaListed

The best things in life aren't things at all

The Zero-Waste Chef

No packaging. Nothing processed. No waste.

Notes From Dawn

with hope, life is more than just bearable

Properly Ridiculous

Mostly Pleasant [Possibly Offensive] Perceptions

Officially Gluten Free

Have your cake and eat it too, without feeling sick.

Chaos Girl & the Real World

{A Slightly Disjointed Life}

anntogether

AM Roselli's art & writing site

User Generated Education

Education as it should be - passion-based.

Sass & Balderdash

Always tongue in cheek, often egg on face.

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We live to write and write to live ... professional writers talk about the craft and business of writing

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Find it, cook it, make it your own.

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